I love watches. I always have. And I really like the fancy jewelry stores at the big malls… cause they have lots of nice watches. I never buy anything, of course. I just like to try on the really expensive watches… Breitling, Omega, Rolex. LOL … This so makes me feel like a big shot.
First, I take my own wristwatch off… ’cause they’re gonna wanna see what’s already there… George brand from WalMart kinda makes me look like the low-baller I am… and I think … in a store like this … the naked wrist says “it’s time I treated myself right for a change”… whereas the George watch says “Hi, is there a Taco Bell in the food court!”
OK… now, I carefully eye the selection… then confidently indicate the first of what will come to be just a few choice items. You see… the millionaire knows what he wants… but then again… he is discreet and contemplative when it comes to important decisions like this. ( lol I’ve really thought this through – what a dork! )
So I watch the lady take the first one out of the case. She always wipes it down with that fancy soft cloth… she’ll take a look at the tag on it… say some gobbledygook I never listen to.. And I’m all “mm yes, yes”… and she hands it right on over to me.
At times… the urge to yell “LOOK!! A GIANT CHICKEN!!” and jet out the door with my new present causes my internal temperature to rise 12 degrees and thick sweat gushes from my forehead… but I usually recover nicely. Other times I blame it on Taco Bell and excuse myself.
Alright… fancy watch in hand… Cue the know-it-all…
For starters… I never look at the price tag. After all… if I have to ask… then I can’t afford it, right! *wink* She’s gonna tell me what it costs anyway… and I’m gonna ask “and you’ll take Am Ex Platinum right?”…
If you’ve ever had a Breitling, Omega, Rolex on your wrist… then you know that OMG feeling! I could only imagine the OMG feeling would be so much more intense if … say.. my wife were to give me one for our anniversary next year. ( xoxo who loves ya baby! )
So… the nice lady stands there with me for several long minutes under those scorching halogen spot lights while I eye those beauties one last time… (guys, I am talking about watches… say it with me… waaatchesss). Alas! “Ya know… I like these a lot… I’m going to leave it up to my wife… see which one she gets me”. (haha)
The nice lady writes the specifics for each watch on the back of her card… I tuck it in my shirt pocket… And head on over to Taco Bell.
And that’s how I spent my Saturday 😀